Over 11 weeks ago, we found out the owners of our farm (that we have been leasing for 2.5 years) would not extend our lease another 3 years like I hoped.  Instead, they plan to sell it.  We have been looking at properties ever since.  Should we buy this one with some problems (the devil we know)?  Should we buy that one which is cheaper but doesn’t have a barn?  Should we buy the one that has a tiny house with lots of land?  Should we give up on farming and board the horses?  Should we lease something and not buy at all.  Anna and I have been having these conversations every night for over 2 months.  To say it adds some stress is an understatement.

Three times we made up our minds and decided the path to take.  Three times we found out the path was a dead-end road.  I was hoping by now to have a major announcement of what we were doing.  Instead, tonight, we are getting a cup of tea and resuming the same discussions that have plagued us for 11+ weeks.

In the end, we know life goes on. And we know our family will get through this, regardless of the decision.  However, based on the point of my career in the military and the age of the kids, this move seems to have more significant long-term impact that any before it.  We have pondered for a long time.  We are rapidly approaching deadlines to make a decision, even if not the best decision.  We have a fixed window to execute the move, because a farm is a lot to move.

So for now, the suspense continues until we have a decision.  For everyone who thinks they know which way we are leaning, you are wrong.  Because we don’t know.  And the options we were considering are not necessarily still valid.